RealityPrime

On the news that United Airlines is now charging obese people for the number of actual seats they consume, some people cheer the decision, and some wonder if it makes sense. I mean, there are few people who literally require 2 or 3 full seats, but a full person is often displaced by a fattie. Not only that, but someone weighing 300lbs sure costs as much in fuel as two average-sized people.

You would think that with modern technology, the airlines could actually find some optimal way to handle this. I mean, they already charge me $45 extra for the privilege of sitting in a seat with 3" more legroom. I’m paying for 1/10th of the value of the seat they (crammed in and later) took out, more or less, which I live with simply because I can’t comfortably fit in the normal (ever closer) seats. Why not do this for those who are challenged in other dimensions?

Part of the problem is the outdated "first" and "business" class models. Business class already has just two seats across, and so less chance of squashing or being squashed. But business class often costs 3x coach, a model only supported by corporations that obviously have too much of their customer’s money to lavish on their execs.

Creating a "widebody coach" section might give any customer the choice to pay 50% more for 50% more room. That’s not a terrible deal, esp. compared to paying 2x.

Airlines might even get smarter and create special bench rows that could be reconfigured: two seats that are 25% wider plus one that’s 50% smaller (and cheaper), with optional 5-point restraints. Note: taking a child’s car seat on the plane is one of the worst experiences. Average-sized parents might even fit two small kids between them, if those bloody armrests weren’t in the way. And with one or two 5-point restraints and lower-cost, we could end the crazy practice of parents holding onto their screaming kids for 5+ hour flights, along with the safety risk the "child in arms" option implies.

But let’s not stop there. Airlines now charge $50 per checked bag, sometimes starting at the first. I can live with total weight charges per passenger, but how about being smart and charging for overhead carry-on luggage instead? Because there’s nothing that holds up takeoff more than people cramming their suitcases into the overheads where there’s no room, often because of that stupid $50/bag charge. If fewer people carried bags on, flights would board and unboard faster, be more pleasant, and even more people might fly.

And while we’re at it, airlines have played with every possible zone-based boarding order except the one that would work: people with overhead carry-on bags board last. Simple as that. Everyone who can sit quickly gets on first, and then we clog the aisles with the remainder busy looking for space.

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